First and foremost lets just all agree to shoot all of the lawyers. We can make a day of it. Sorry if someone in your family is a lawyer. Although with all of them out there just walking around that probably covers 98% of you. Still, it'll be for the best you'll see. After that's done we can all feel free to breathe again. Of course we'll still find ways to hate one another or any change that may come our way be it political, institutional or in the way we get our morning coffee. Maybe Caribou will come up with a new system where you can only order in 1337 speak through Twitter from a robot that wears a bowler hat and a monocle and speaks with a British accent saying shit like lift instead of elevator.
If you put me in a room with six objects for an hour I could come up with ten possible ways to change them each. I could also come up with a million reasons people would be pissed that something like a hammer now has a tiny LCD read out that tells you the time in Madrid and the humidity of Bangor Main. First complaint would probably be because you'd have to change the battery for the LCD to work. In reality of course who needs to know that trivial information (except for maybe a pirate lawyer and Stephen King), but people would still change the stupid thing. Why? IDK - mostly because it's there and we're just a few chromosomes away from throwing feces instead of pushing buttons on a small box to make a bigger box have different pictures and sounds. Christ if you want consistency and for nothing to change EVER lets just get a zoo to keep people in where they can hit a bar to get a nourishment pellet once every hour and the TV is constantly playing episodes of Celebrity Rehab or whatever other stupid show out there you find it okay to watch. Meanwhile I'll continue to eat different things for every meal, wear different pants every day, and oh yeah, TRY NEW THINGS!
So far none of this is in response to the New York Times article about Girl Talk and his new album. Whatever you think about this dude and his music (I for one dig it) lets just all agree that what he's doing is not that big of a deal. I mean we already had congress involved with steroids in baseball lets not have another horrendous waste of money trying to decide if what Girl Talk is doing is music or theft. Lets just agree that it's both and move on.
Except for there's money involved. And who likes money? Well, everyone I guess, I know I do. But, Lawyers! Lawyers love money too. In fact they all have a secret church that worships the stuff. But not in the good hardworking Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged sense, rather in the low immoral Enron sense. Maybe I'm generalizing. But who cares?! This is the internet, and I'm sure everyone will take issue with a lot of things anyone says here. Why? Because people love to take issue with stupid things because it helps them forget how boring and repetitive their stupid lives are. That's what I take issue with. Boring people wasting their existence worrying about whether or not I smoke while watching porn that I illegally downloaded.
Is it music? I say yes it is. It is because Girl Talk made me appreciate Busta Rhymes again. Because I wanna hear Korean pop singers backed by the song One from Metallica. Because what he is doing is further expanding our understanding of what music can be and how it can move us. How it can shake us. How it can make us want to get nasty and just boogie till there's no more Red Bull and the sun is about to rise!! It is because change is a good thing. Because change is a constant thing that will always happen no matter how much we want our children to stay young or Windows XP to still be in use. So we all need to get over it and embrace new things. Let us not forget our past so that we do not repeat the bad yes, but let us not be afraid to make new mistakes; new memories.
As far as the payment goes, I guess we still have to work that out. Or maybe people can quit being so greedy and just appreciate that their creation made someone else create something. Maybe they can be proud of the fact that they, for a moment, moved somebody away from the picture box, and into a fit of action.
But first, we must kill all the lawyers.
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